It's really been only a few years since I began to understand the liturgical year, and the meaning of Lent. Quite honestly, for me, this season before Easter..midwinter into Spring...is not about giving something up, as much as it is a time to slow down and give time for reflection. Yes, I have strengths, but I also have my own areas of weakness and places where I desire to grow into Christ-likeness.
The call to follow Jesus and the road to the Cross is not meant to be easy, I think. Not in a somber way, but in a real way. What is my truth? Where do I falter? I find that, for myself, my "pleaser" personality is getting in the way of my truth at times. This is my place of self preservation.
"If anyone wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross (the place of surrender and sacrifice) and follow Me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it." Mark 8:34-35
I'm thinking that "losing myself" means losing my need to please. Perhaps I have confused pleasing with actually loving. I believe I am starting to see that the pleasing is for me: a self centered, self preserving way to be free from anxiety. Perhaps if I ask "what would love do?" I might discover a helpful beginning to the surrender process.
Just some thoughts to reflect on as I walk along the way to Calvary.